Hot rods and classics CLASSIC RIDES 10 Raid Suisse - Paris 2007 CLASSIC RIDES 12 THE ORIGINAL DESKTOP HORSEPOWER!! 
Car Jokes: Ten Commandments For the Car Collector 1. Thou shalt not read thy Hemmings on company time, lest thy employer make it impossible to continue thy car payments. 2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's car nor his garage, nor his battery charger. 3. Thou shalt not store thy car out-of-doors except for the wife's Toyota. 4. Thou shalt not deceive thy wife into thinking that thee is taking her for a romantic Sunday drive when indeed thou art going out to look at another car. 5. Thou shalt not love thy cars more than thy wife and children. 6. Thou shalt not despise thy neighbor's Edsel, nor his DeSoto, nor even his '47 Plymouth. 7. Thou shalt not tell thy spouse the entire cost of thy latest restoration, at least not all at the same time. 8. Thou shalt not promise thy wife a new addition for the house and then use it to store cars. 9. Thou shalt not allow thy sons and daughters to get married during the car show season. 10. Thou shalt not buy thy wife a floor jack for Christmas. 
Annoying Bumper Stickers 1. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 2. Support Cannibalism - EAT ME! 3. God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. 4. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. 5. I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. 6. Keep honking while I reload. 7. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! 8. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. 9. 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other 2, an amusement park. 10. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. 11. Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot. 12. Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes. 13. Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings. 14. Jack Kevorkian for White House physician. 15. Just say NO! to sex with pro-lifers. 16. My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ... or something like that. 17. Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian! 18. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. 19. If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy. 20. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! 21.Horn Broke....Watch for finger! 22.Armed pitbull with aids on board. 23.I'm not deaf, I'm ignoring you. 
15 Ways To Distinguish A Company Car 1. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate. 2. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse. 3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance. 4. They can take bumps at twice the speed as private cars. 5. Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly so much as a private car. 6. They have a much tighter turning radius. 7. The floor is shaped like an ashtray. 8. They only burn the cheapest gas available. 9. They do not have to be garaged at night. 10. They can be driven up to 150 miles with the oil warning light on. 11. They need cleaning less often, especially inside. 12. The suspension and trunk floor are reinforced to allow concrete slabs and other heavy building materials to be carried. 13. They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still in forward motion. 14. The tire side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs. 15. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control. 
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Auto Care Articles 
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Perform Your Own
Automobile Maintenance by: David Maillie Today's cars can typically be expected to pass the 200,000 mile mark with consistent automobile maintenance. With the price of automobiles, you will want to protect that investment by performing regular maintenance. If you can do much of the work yourself, you will save a lot of money in labor. Invest in a good set of tools and choose quality parts when performing your own automobile maintenance. If you have some skill, but want to learn more look for courses in general repairs and maintenance. These can often be found at your local community center, Community College or an automotive technical school in your area. Consider investing in a good repair manual for your car, such as a Chilton's manual. The internet is a good place to look for articles and information. There are many sites devoted to auto repair and maintenance. You will want to keep track of all maintenance performed on your car. You can do this in a log, a notebook or on your home computer. There is software available to help you keep track of maintenance. These programs track repairs, maintenance, replacement parts used on the vehicle and fuel consumption. You can use the same software for multiple vehicles. Most software allows you to create a service schedule and will remind you when it's time to perform maintenance tasks on each vehicle in your household. The software contains a wide variety of tips for car care. In addition, many have reference and diagnostic tools to help you diagnose various problems with your cars. Many companies offer a free trial that can be downloaded on the internet. This allows you to try out the program before investing your money. Your owner's manual will give you some basic information about when certain maintenance tasks should be done. Most tasks will be listed according to the mileage on the car. 3000 Mile Maintenance Change the oil in your engine every 3000 miles. The filter should be changed at the same time. Newer synthetic oils are said to last longer without breaking down. When you change the oil, check the fluids, the air filter, tires, hoses and belts. At this time check the battery cables and terminals for corrosion. This can be removed with a wire brush or sandpaper. 5000-10,000 Miles: Have your tires rotated and balanced every five to ten thousand miles. This helps the tires wear evenly and extends the life. The best tires should be put in the front of the car. Check the tire pressure regularly and check the tread for signs of uneven wear or damage. 15,000 Miles: Change the air filter every 15,000 miles. A clean air filter improves the fuel economy of your car. A dirty air filter can cause the engine to run rough and stall. At this time you should also check the pads and shoes on your brake system. Check the brake fluid and top it of, as needed. The fluid should be clear. If you notice noise when the brakes are applied or the steering wheel shakes or vibrates, this can be an indication that the brakes need replacing. In this case, don't wait check the brakes and replace as needed. 30,000 Miles: Check the fluid level on your transmission. The owner's manual will have information about the kind of fluid that should be used in your car. The manual should have directions on how to drain and replace the fluid. The pan gasket should be changed when the fluid is drained. Also at this time, give the car a tune up. Replace all spark plugs and wires. 50,000 Miles: Change the coolant at 50,000 miles. See the owner's manual for directions on how to perform this task. Remember to take care of your car's finish. You want the paint to remain in good condition for as long as possible. Wash the car regularly, even in the winter when salt from the roads can ruin the finish. Apply wax to protect the paint from the sun, salt and weather conditions. Don't neglect the headlights, which can become cloudy and won't operate as well. New Lite Headlight Cleaner and Restorer will return cloudy headlights to like new condition. Learn more about this product at http://www.mdwholesale.com |
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